Harumph!
Harumph!
November 9, 2024
A fellow Bible Believer and friend of Jesus encouraged me about a month ago to journal my steps into oblivion being caused by dementia. I resisted until now. My essays shouldn’t be about me but about God, Jesus, and the Bible. I don’t want “claps” or “thumbs up” or in any real sense “followers.” I want people to meet and to follow Jesus… Still and all, maybe my experience as my brain turns to sawdust will somehow line up with my mission… Where to start?
Now 74, Jesus saved my butt some 54 years ago. My life was a mess but when I called out to God, He picked me up out of all my distress and put me on a progressively better path.
What a mess I had made out of my life! People who don’t believe in miracles and God being active in the world and personal lives today… Listen up. That was a miracle.
Further, I would probably be very depressed and/or very angry today without Jesus and the Holy Spirit active in my life. You see, I have found these Bible verses to be effective and true:
“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.’ — 2 Peter 3:9, Berean Standard Bible.
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“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith, without doubting, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” — James 1:2–8, ibid.
Now those are a bit lengthy for some people to ponder, but here is my reasoning for quoting them: They are true and work in the very real world that you and I are a part of.
Back to my evolving experiences with dementia…
On this platform I have finally found some back and forth discussions, but they are becoming more difficult from my end. The other day I responded to an essay totally inappropriately with a back and forth childish exchange — which of course advanced nothing. I was very snippy and immature.
I’ve read where I can blame dementia for that reaction, but then I would be playing the Blame Game of which I have written against and told readers to just quit playing it.
Soon after that experience, I responded to someone’s essay debating something far away from anything the author was talking about.
Yesterday, even after looking up the definition of a phrase a person used, the meaning still escaped me like my bird flew the coop!
These incidents still seem funny to me, and I can laugh about them. There will come a time that my mental demise won’t be so funny to me anymore.
I have found that the things I used to do automatically — like getting dressed — are a bit challenging, and I have to relearn how my fingers can button up my shirt or how to put my pants on — One leg at a time or roll back and both at once?
For a couple years after my bout with Covid, working the gardens in our backyard became really quite humorous… I told my wife I should carry around an empty booze bottle as an actor on stage, because I had lost balance and staggered around like a drunken sailor! I thought it might entertain the neighbors.
I suppose there will come a time when it won’t be so funny — at least for Patty. Yet, at the same time, she has the same personal relationship with God, Jesus, and the Bible as I do. So, I’m sure Jesus will get her through and I hope keep her laughing at the ridiculousness of the situations.
Nevertheless, He will get her through it all.
“A man of many companions may {still} come to ruin, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.” — Proverbs 18:24, ibid, my edit { } to clarify verb tense.
So, there’s that
Again, please, I am not looking for pity or sympathy. I am trying to illustrate that Jesus is carrying me through all my maladies. Like I am also blind in one eye and losing sight in the other (Diabetes), but I still find it funny how I put down the hand towel and two seconds later can;t locate it again. Or this stupid funny: I get up and go to another room and cannot figure out for the life of me why! “Oh Lord!” I laugh, and then it will come to me.
Hysteria or simple hysterical? You be the judge.
It amazes me (not really) that I can still write comprehensible essays. My wife who works to edit them will let me know when it’s time to stop. All the same, I believe God wakes me up with a topic and helps me to write it , too.
I tell my wife that she is my Editor-in-Chief, but she says she might be my Copy Editor, but Jesus is the Editor-in-Chief. I hope she’s right, and I’m leaning towards believin’. (I have reread some of my older essays and think to myself, “Boy! These are pretty good!”) Anyways…
There’s this golden oldie hymn that tells where I’m at in this earthly journey:The Oak Ridge Boys — Farther Along (Live At Gaither Studios, Alexandria, IN/2021)
It’s worth a listen to.
Now where was I? Oh yeah. Making more coffee…
Here’s the most recent funny stupid: I was out back cutting down and cutting up an evergreen tree for firewood. My sneakers had gotten wet and the sole was coming off at the toe (It wasn’t stitched there, just glued.), and I thought that pain in my foot was due to that. So, for 5 days I gingerly hobbled about with a pain in my arch. Well, I used to not do that, and what I would have done before would be to take off the sneaker to see if there was a stone or if it was the insole or whatever. I would chick it out. Five days… Finally I examined the inside of the sneaker, and low and behold! There was an inch and a half roofing nail piercing my foot as well as my footwear! Off to the Doctor for an antibiotic script and a tetanus shot! (Much better today.)
I have to relearn stuff. And for safety’s sake really be overcautious rather than stupid funny.
These events might be helpful for friends and relatives of older people — whether or not the cause is dementia.Oh! and don’t forget talking to Jesus for understanding and helpful tips.
There are also medical help online: https://alzfdn.org, and others.
Well I’m going to finish by asking my friend Jeff Hilles to let me know if I am doing this correctly.
Now…
Patty’s Two Cents — Because she’s my boss, I have to include Patty’s comments ~
Normally, I would not put in “my two cents” into my husband’s journey. However, thinking this is more than my two cents, I will share a bit more about the nail in the shoe…
David told me that the shoe had a “problem with the arch.” I told him we have to go and get a good pair of shoes. That was delayed, and when he showed me the nail in the shoe, I honestly was upset with myself for not checking the shoe myself and not checking it out earlier, but when he said, “It’s the arch.”
…Well, for me I thought, “He knows.” So, “It’s the arch.”
Then and there, I recognized my husband’s sharpness was wearing some…
What do I do?
I go to Jesus, asking Him to help me be alert so I can be alert and more of a help to my husband. I have learned more and more over the years (43) that not only in our problems but in everything, pray…
Yes. Talking to Jesus every day, all the time.
The blessings and the rewards are having Him close, talking with me, and guarding and guiding me at all times…
I hope this will help and encourage those “in the same shoes.” (As you can see, my husband’s humor has rubbed off on me. He does make me laugh, and his sense of humor is not all caused by his dementia.)