If you can accept love from a complete stranger, mentioning the deconstruction movement instantly makes me worry that you may be jumping from the flames into the fire. Deconstruction is just as much a cult as that from which you are escaping. So, where should you flee? You are on the right path and need no outside help. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Alabama - Just A Closer Walk With Thee (Live) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPmJemdLGf8