Pain

D L Henderson
4 min readDec 17, 2024

--

December 17,2024

“Ya know, you’re a real pain!”

“Ow! That really smarts.”

These are two examples of hurt. “Ow!” is a temporary pain.

“Ya know…” can actually do great harm, depending on how it is said, to whom it is said, with what intent it is said, and how a person receives it.

Right?

Yet, there is a more radical pain which may well become unbearable, intolerable — one that no one should have to endure and often, one that is not endured.

Perhaps, only those who have had this pain which does so much harm can comprehend it.

These Holiday Seasons can amplify the personal pain to such a degree that a person’s emotions explode, and we lash out — safely at some object we use to project the pain, like slamming a door… Unfortunately the pain may have caused so much harm that we need something way bigger and far more dynamic to use to pass on the pain. Somehow we get the wrong answer, an idea imagining that by lashing out, our pain will go away.

Here are the limited choices available us which we imagine will absorb our building rage and will erase the pain we are feeling so deeply inside:

  • an inanimate object like that door I mentioned…
  • some available person that may or may not be responsible for our pain — whether friend, family, or foe…
  • ourselves…

I can relate…

I attempted suicide when I was a teenager. I just couldn’t take the pain anymore. I thought my Dad hated me, calling me stupid, but he was calling the tulips stupid. (Mom had sent me out to help him, and he was cursing out the chore of maintaining Mom’s little corner of tulips — not me. My Dad had better things to do… watch college Football maybe. Nevertheless, I thought it was me, and my general feeling was that I was pretty useless and incapable of doing anything right. I accidently did a stupid trick which accidently killed my Dad’s favorite German Shepherd, and my best plymate…(The long story doesn’t really matter here — just the fact that I lacked any self-esteem, had no particular skill, and saw no fulfilling purpose in my life.).

Depressing, isn’t it?

Maybe it is too early in this essay for me to interject this, but maybe it’s a case of “The sooner, the better.”

Blessings — Laura Story (with lyrics)

You see, when I called on God He put me on a path to find Jesus as my LifeGuard = Jesus who saved me from myself and the complete mess I had made of my life.

There’s the answer you are looking for — just in case you are ready to choose the better way…

I tried to kill myself way back in my High School years. I had become hateful of my self, my life, and the boxed in world I was living in.

Unfortunately my depression was contagious to some degree, creating a negative atmosphere around me and causing at least a bit of hurt and harm to my classmates and certainly causing great pain to my first real girlfriend… She was the person available and defenseless against my brutal lashing out.

You are probably familiar with the old saying “Sticks and stones?” Well, it is BS. Words can hurt very painfully and very deeply and last for a very long time.

Even worse, pain can be contagious, malignant, and merciless.

I imagine if a person is also rather isolated from any friendly relationships, it would be much worse.

Holidays therefore become a very unhealthy and counterproductive environment.

Suicides increase. Instead of being overwhelmed by the happy celebration, the pain is magnified. looking at the happiness in others can magnify a person’s sadness.

The pain gets worse.

I can relate.

Can you?

The only reason I am still alive is because someone eventually stepped in and stepped up. Beyond that, as the years went by, when I became a Born Again Bible Believing Christian. all the pain evaporated and God started me on a completely different path with a newness of life, learning how to live in the light of the Lord

Don Moen — Great Is Your Mercy | Live Worship Sessions

No?

Look. I’m just trying to save you some time so your pain can be erased.

I know it is near impossible to see any light in the depths of darkness… because I was there. But God…

“…so everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to be its judge, but to be its savior.” — John 3:15–1716, Good News Bible.

Anne Wilson — 3:16 (Official Audio)

--

--

D L Henderson
D L Henderson

Written by D L Henderson

Born 1950; HS 1968; Born again 1972; Cornell ILR; Steward, Local President/Business Agent; Husband, father, grandfather; winner/loser/everything in between

Responses (2)