The hiring I referred to id perhaps too obtuse, but what I mean is your personal investment, as in time, openness, and consideration of what the Bible tries to reveal to the world. The right people are the experienced authors of the New Testament. Personally, I do not thoughtlessly trust any human being to be inherently reliable-- or anything whispered and only heard in my head. I hope some day your mocking laughter (which I cannot blame you for) will be turned into thankful and joyful laughter. "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..." (Romans 14:17, NIV)