Until reading about halfway through your essay, I hadn't a clue where you were going - until you used the errant explanation of Numbers 5; 11-31. I had never read and never even heard of anything in the Bible like what you described. A quick online search resulted in this discovery:
"Critics label this test a barbaric, superstitious ritual involving sorcery (see Deuteronomy 18:9–13). Others suggest that it depicts an abortion. Neither view is correct. While bizarre, the rite protected women from husbands who were overly aggressive or hasty in their judgments. It offered a safe outlet for male jealousy and prevented emotional or physical abuse. It kept Israelites from visiting pagan temples. And it would have nearly always exonerated the woman in question." - https://www.gotquestions.org/Numbers-abortion.html
When you observed that "...it’s hard to share a space with people mocking something they don’t really understand or have the same feelings you do..." You began to show that you dislike gossip and snarky attitudes.
I am a 74 -year-old-wannabe-hippie-born-again-Believer, and coming out of the 1970's of the last Century, most of the terms like "influencers" - or "online creators" as you say - all are as foreign to me as an ET from Jupiter. Please, then, if I say anything stupid or rude or ignorant, show me a little grace...
In any event, two thirds of the way through reading, I began to have hope you were going to come to an uplifting denouement to your story... So then, I thought," I think I can respond to this writer in a positive way..."
You see, when you also wrote a critique about your own error was what gave me hope you might listen and consider what I had to say: "We also just behaved like any reality TV fans, gossiping and watching the train wreck of somebody else's life."
At the same time, you mentioned your journey into Faith Deconstruction. Oops. Maybe you won't listen... Anyhoo...
From the very first time I came across the trend of Deconstruction, my observation and concern was that the process might fit the adage, "Out of the frying pan and into the fire."
When a city condemns a building, it is first torn down. Debris is cleaned up. Hopefully, there have been plans drawn up for the property's redevelopment so it doesn't just become a garbage dump and an eyesore.
In Deconstruction of Christianity, however, there are no blueprints, no proposals for redevelopment - at least not by any qualified Architect. The attempt as I see it - no matter as to being right or wrong - is that the process is a hodgepodge free-for-all, accepting whatever, and those choices are left up to the individual's judgment and whatever he or she deems worthy, correct, principled, or, perhaps subconsciously, comfortably conforming to his or her own "group think."
Just the same, why do people leave their Church in the first place? Are they justified? Have they become disillusioned? Have they actually been harmed or hurt in their church experience? Have they found the dogma and practices strange, unrealistic, unreasonable? Very possibly, all could be true. Still, how can one jump from "the frying pan" and not land "into the fire?" To ask this another way, "if the blind lead the blind, won't they both fall into a ditch?"
You see, all this trauma is precipitating from the wrong belief systems of the established denominational Christian Churches. They all claim an exclusive understanding of God, Jesus, and the Bible, but in reality they are clueless. They are blind leaders of the blind - just like the scribes and Pharisees of Jesus' time on Earth.
Finding justification for ourselves in the ways of Deconstruction is merely succumbing to hurts and pains, maybe even the betrayal of those denominations or individuals belonging to those denominations. Also, there seem to be very seriously minded questions left unanswered or answered with gobbledygook. Neither choice provides or even offers a transcendental path to the heavens, nor does it shine on a righteous road that is free of hurt and harm, and which might even take a person to some sort of hopeful, imagined paradise.
Yet, I certainly understand why people try the path of Deconstruction... But it is a forced march. It does not lead to freedom.
This all reminds me of the ancient Greek Agora which was full of talk and talking about talk... the many philosophers sitting around all day in futile speculation. To wit, "In Acts chapter 17, the apostle Paul is in Athens. He ends up at the place where the Greek philosophers discuss and debate, and ends up giving a long speech to them. Acts tells us that Paul was addressing Epicurean and Stoic philosophers." - https://humblesmith.wordpress.com - Feb 19, 2011.
Or if you prefer secular writings: "There are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore.” - Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks.
Or, if you prefer Shakespeare writings - from Macbeth, "Sound and fury signifying nothing."
On the other hand, the Bible is a meat and potatoes historical collection of writings, of and by real people living real lives in a real world.
Christianity, unfortunately 'tis true, to too many, has become no more than a religion like any other man made metaphysical philosophy with moral guidelines and fables to illustrate them. Yet, don't blame God, Jesus, or the Bible, because the whole mess has been created by self-appointed, ignorant scholars and self-declared high ranking religious people who have misled, misinterpreted, misconstrued, and otherwise twisted the Scripture to the end of their own destruction, as the apostle Peter put it. (2 Peter 3:16)
So, yes, Christianity has become easily portrayed as an untrustworthy, broken foundation... Thus, Christians and Christianity have become an easy target.
There is also this: Deconstructionists cannot seem to see the target on their own backs, that is they don't look in the mirror. To say it another way, they end up straining out the gnats and choking on something much bigger, or they are forgetting the 2x4's stuck in their own eyes while performing brain salad surgery on others. Putting it a bit differently, they are not applying the same stringent analysis to their new found faith, beliefs, doctrines, and dogmas.
In my opinion, disillusionment with God, Jesus, and/or the Bible is a matter of leaving the house - not remodeling, not rebuilding, nothing to do with our own design specifications.
Now, we all have free wills and free choice. We all have minds that we should use diligently. Nevertheless, it doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever to base changes to one's own metaphysical dynamics by reconstructing them based on untruth or because of harm done by those who promote such untruth.
So, in most of my essays, I strive to clear up the mess made by false teachers, false prophets, and false messiahs that have existed since the earliest Believers gathered together in secret to pray and worship. All the original disciples of Jesus who were made apostles railed against their ilk. You can easily research the New Testament writers for yourself, James, John, Paul, Peter, Jude, whoever wrote Hebrews, and of course, the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and again, John. All warn about the false.
A personal note:
My wife was raised in a Catholic family - though not nearly as strict as yours. I was raised in a Presbyterian family - however loosely. We both separately came to a point in our lives where we turned to a personal relationship with God through Jesus, the Jewish Messiah. As we gathered with other Born Again Believers, read His Word, and daily sought His presence in our lives, He broadened our understanding and developed further insights into who He is and what we are supposed to be... He is the one whom we have come to trust to make constructive changes in our inner persons and in our outward acts.
We don't have to deconstruct anything. God is doing all the building as a project of an entirely new creation.
On top of all that, we have become confident in all God's promises, including the new home which He has promised to everyone who earnestly and honestly seeks Him for truth and justice and freedom from metaphysical oppression.
I'll leave you with two excerpts from the Bible.
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." - James 1:5, NLT.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30, NLT