Within or Alongside

D L Henderson
15 min readDec 18, 2024

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November 24, 2024 / final edit, December 18, 2024

(It’s been a long walk…)

My Background

Let me start with a base which is my experience with God, Jesus, and the Bible…

In my youth, my parents had me attend Sunday School while they were participating in the adult Sunday Service upstairs. In the Church basement, in Sunday School. I was exposed to the major Bible stories from Creation to the Cross. It may be of import to know that the violent and bloody details were excluded, of course, as this was a class for children. I am now writing for adults…

God treated the Hebrews escaping Egypt in the same way. He redirected their escape route around a warring nation so that they would not experience bloodshed before they were ready, then become afraid, and end up retreating to slavery in Egypt…

Next,during my adolescence, I left any considerations of God, Jesus, and the Bible behind. and they were totally excluded from my everyday life.

During adolescence, I also became pathetically depressed and eventually attempted to commit suicide.

During adolescence, my friends were aware of my abject sadness, but had to idea how to rescue me from the resulting moodiness.

Toward the end of my teenage years, a friend turned me on to pot.

For a time I got off on it, laughed at nothing and everything, but as I continued using it over the next few years and added using hallucinogenic drugs, it seemed that the more I used, the less I got out of it. Still , I continued to chase after its seductive allure.

During those years in my life, I tangentially got into the Anti-war Movement and the entrails of the Peace and Love Movement (which the Hippies had left behind) while I was continuing to get stoned during that stay in Berkeley, CA.

Mustard Seed Faith — Let Go

Until…

Dropping Acid one night I was catapulted into a very “bad trip” where I was falling into a bottomless black hole with an overwhelming sense of fear and doom. A friend — who seemed to consistently appear at particular times — stopped in, and he rather casually mentioned, “You’re on a trip, aren’t you?”

The odd thing was that when he asked that simple question, what I heard was, “You’re tripping and falling, aren’t you?”

Whatever mysteriously compelled my next move, even looking back I can only surmise. Still and all, I went up on the roof and desperately called out to God, the One of Bible fame who I had learned about in Sunday School, and miraculously, the Acid Trip disappeared as if I had never even dropped that evening.

I felt a joy and a happiness I had never known before — even on my best days!

Being a very slow learner, the next two weekends, I repeated, “Drop some Acid, fall into the same horror of a bad trip, go up on the roof, call on God, and get rescued…

Finally, I realized that I was banging my head against the wall, because it felt so good to stop!

That was the end of the Berkeley Chapter in my life.

I hitchhiked some more up and down the West Coast, met some very nice folks on the way who were a lot like myself but had a finer grasp on life and living in peacefulness… Just the same, I followed an impulse to get back on the road again…

Until…

Getting a ride with a young couple, they asked if I needed a place to crash, and they took me to a youth hostel, a small ranch up by Morro Bay, CA. Turns out it was something more. A Pentecostal Missionary who had come down from the Yakama Indian Reservation in Washington State had adopted a group that had something to do with Jesus…

They had a gathering before supper holding hands to pray together, then they had a get together after supper where prayer and singing and a thing called sharing their personal testimonies ensued. Each person would tell where they had traveled in searching for the answers to life’s questions.

They had joined various other groups but, being disappointed and/or disillusioned with them, they had traveled on — until they arrived at this little hostel and had “found Jesus to be their personal Savior.”

It all seemed natural enough as I had already prayed and had begun to be rescued in a small but dynamic way. They also witnessed as to finding the answers they had been searching for and the changes God had made in their lives.

After some time, in one of their get-togethers, I found myself on my knees and tearfully pleading with God to forgive me of all the wrong I had done and also to come into my life…

Well, praise God! He did both.

I felt a cleansing from deep inside, and a great dark weight lifting followed at the same time. It was a feeling like a lifting off my shoulders, but with much more completeness and permanence than I had ever before experienced.

I started to read the Bible, and new understandings came to mind. Still, like I admitted earlier, I was hard headed and slow on the uptake. There were a lot of residual constructs in my brain that needed lots and lots of work — so much so, within a year or two, I was given a choice: Mental Hospital or a Sheriff’s escort out of town.

They made the right decision, because my actions were often destructive and just too contrary to the new lifestyle I needed to learn… I was so messed up.

Dallas Holm — A Broken Heart

Missing the boat

Anyways, I left a couple extra steps out that are very important to this essay: First, I was baptized in Morro Bay, the Pacific Ocean, a very scenic place on a very sunshiny day. Second, shortly thereafter,I received the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. One of the group asked the pastor if I had actually received that baptism, because it was usually manifested by the Biblical gift of speaking in tongues, which I didn’t manifest until a few years later.

It’s important to note that these were initial experiences before my behaviors got so contrary and disruptive that they had to tell me to leave.

One aspect many critics miss is that a sinner doesn’t instantly become a saint. They are considered “babes in Christ’ and must learn how to walk and talk and put on all the noble characteristics of Jesus. The “old man,” as it is called, has to be put away, buried, to be replaced by the “new nature” from God.

New Christians need a “good spanking” once in a while.

My old nature — stubbornly slow — was ruining things for me through sabotaging my walk with Jesus..

Lauren Daigle — How Can It Be

Within or Alongside…

I should say something now related to the title of this essay “Within or Alongside. This is about the fundamental doctrine of the Holy Spirit being in us or coming alongside us. It is only essential that we know He is there to help us and ro guide us and most importantly, to open our understanding of God, Jesus , and the Bible, helping us to apply what we learn.

This whole idea of the Baptism in the Holy Spirit is much like the mystery of the Trinity. It is not very convenient to easily squeeze any eternal mystery into our very finite brains. Maybe further on down the road…

My wife understands the precept in the “inside of us” sense, while my view is more like the “alongside of us” sense. All that matters is that the Born Again Believer relies on the Holy Spirit being with us. The only way I can begin to understand is with the picture of the Olive root drawing up fertile nutrients from the rich soil into the sap which flows into the fruit bearing branches… Either way, we have to learn to listen to what the Spirit is saying to us — what I learned as having a conversation with God in our midst…

Within or Alongside -Mystery Solved

I’ve changed to italics here, because this is a conversation from the following morning which I just had with my Editor, my wife, Patty, who has relayed to me how the Holy Spirit has recently clarified and reconciled our different views…

Now, the Bible advises that we have a “teachable spirit (attitude). I’m not a hard man, just slow, and as she talked , I realized something (had a revelation): Yes. The Holy Spirit comes alongside and at the same time is inside of us…

How can both be true?

Well I was omitting an important basic truth and fundamental teaching in the Bible. How I was picturing this mystery (this enigma) was incomplete — I was visualizing from the outside and not from within, as a part of God’s work,

God’s work moving us, starts from our inner person, our hearts, our minds, our souls, the new nature graced to us by Jesus. I was looking at this mystery with my old eyes, my old mind, from my old overlook — not through the eyes of Christ, not with the newness of mind that began to open my understanding when I first believed. How could I have forgotten!?! Slow learner, thick as a brick? Yes, that’s the reason , but it is hardly an excuse.

Thank you Jesus for my wife, Patty, whom you have promoted over me as my Editor-in-Chief! (added to being my companion and partner in my responsibilities)

That unraveled the mystery for us, and I hope it does for readers, too.

Let me Review

So, where am I and where have I been?

  • I learned the Children’s Bible Stories in my parent’s church.
  • I was depressed and suicidal as a teenager.
  • I got into the drug culture.
  • LSD opt me in a deep hole, way over my head.
  • I called on God to rescue me and He did.
  • I ended up in my travels at a Jesus oriented hostel.
  • I got saved, baptized, and after, received the Holy Spirit.
  • My behaviors demonstrated no redeemable qualities.
  • I was told rightly, that I had to move on.

Next…

Eventually I read a book/workbook titled Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson, and finally I realized that I was supposed to have learned these concepts during High School — well before my age at that time of 28… Hoo boy… (Slow, remember?)

I missed entirely the part of the walk down the path of Discipleship — which some call Sanctification… That is, until I ran across a book appropriately called Discipleship. I forget the author’s name, but he was from South America.

I recommend it. or at least. to think about life as a journey and life with Jesus to be the same. True Christianity is a journey, a lifelong expedition and adventure.,

I’m not an influencer, a movie star, a popular singer or any other kind of famous person whose bio people might find interesting. I know that. At the same time, I feel it is a basis of understanding both where I am coming from and what points of understanding I am trying to convey as I still travel along…

All the same, the point is that I have had many real life experiences, and becoming a Born Again Bible Believing Christian has been a part of those experiences, Yes, it’s the most important and the most significant one, but still, I want the reader to know, my own warts and all, that God is real, Jesus is real, and the personal relationship He has graced me with is also real.

God’s faithfulness is real and permeates every verse of the Bible. When the Bible assures that He will never leave us, where it says He will finish the work He started in us, and that all His promises are true, in my life and in many others, these all are being experienced in real time and in real life. They are not “pie in the sky” fantasies. God’s plan for us that His faithfulness will permeate every dynamic of our lives.

If you question but still are searching with an open mind, this parable in Jesus’ teaching may help and encourage:

“ The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” — Matthew 13:44, New Living Translation.

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven…” — Ecclesiastes 3:1, Berean Standard Bible.

Do you know what Jesus said?

“For where two or three gather together in My name, there am I with them.” — Matthew 18:20, BSB.

One more try:

My foreground

Part One: The Beginning

Reading and studying the Bible, I have uncovered truths that have not been visible on the surface. Not much digging is required now, because God makes them as plain as day, because He has opened my blind eyes. This is the way people need to read the Bible: prayerfully.

Maybe there already is an idea in the head that was planted there in childhood, or it has been something a religious leader planted there., or an assumption you picked up from somebody somewhere.

For you, it may not really matter one way or the other… It’s called complacency… I pray God will show you not only the necessity, but the urgency of getting to know God in a personal and close-knit manner while the world around us is rapidly falling apart as it continues to slide sideways…

Part One: First things first…

Let’s see… Genesis, Chapter One says God created everything — the Universe and everything in it, Earth and all its inhabitants, including, and very specifically, Mankind (verses 26 & 27). He gave them a directive, an order for their purposes on Earth in verse 28: ““Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth.” (This answers the basic questions people ask, “Why am I here?” and What is the purpose of life?”)

God did this in six steps and after, God inspected everything He had made and, being satisfied with it, He declared the results, “very good, “ He took the seventh step: He took a break — later it became known as a sabbath rest.

That was the end of that story.. At least, that was how that part of the story ended… It was the end of the Beginning.

Of course, nobody knows how long the “seven days” actually took in Earth days, because at the time, there were no Earth days…

Still and all, my point is “That was that.”

Part Two: The Midst of the Progression

Next up, God created a man, as recorded in Chapter Two, verse 7, and gave a similar purpose as He had for all Mankind. in verse 15 “God took the man and placed him in the Garden of Eden to cultivate and keep it.” As most of us already know, God called that man “Adam.”

What happened next was the fateful Fall of Man in which the Original Sin occurred and brought the condition of sinfulness not only on their own heads, but consequently, upon all of Mankind. (My guess is this developed with all the inter-marriages mentioned later in Genesis.) Beyond that point, they all continued in obedience to “being fruitful and multiplying” — the fun part of obedience.

There were other precipitating sins that would continue to “rain on our parade” — one of the most significant and malignant sin was, and is, blaming others for one’s own mistakes — in this case, of hurting and harming others in disobedience to God’s righteousness

From “The devil made me do it.” to “Don’t look at me!” we have always tried to avoid our responsibilities for the damage we have done.

Part Three: The Promise

In Genesis, a Promise was given to the woman, who Adam had given the name, “Eve.” That Promise was about someone further down the road in her lineage who would be bringing rescue and restoration from the mess they had initiated — all of the cascading events of the downward spiral they had started Mankind on…

That Promise was to be revealed in Jesus whom Believers now recognize as the Messiah, that “seed” that would rescue, restore, reclaim, and rebuild Humanity — Jesus, the Promised One.

Let me point out that the entire Old Testament seems to have equal parts falling away and restoration in all the stories recorded in its pages. God hides no bad characters from readers. Nevertheless, that particular Messianic Promise would be eliminating all such falling away.

What would stick? What restoration would drop anchor in a protected harbor? What could possibly be rebuilt that would stand up against the onslaughts of winds, the tides, and the tempestuous storms? How would God make it so we could survive, learning the needed seamanship to master the oceans?

Part Four: The Good News

Repent: We need to turn from our own failed ways, turning to do things God’s way. We need to stop hurting and harming and end our resistance to living God’s ideals. We have to stop being arrogant and stubborn and show some humility before God who created us.

Be baptized — not just not only for washing away the dirt of our unrighteous deeds, but as a symbolic gesture of following Jesus into His death, burial, and resurrection

“Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised up out from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we also should walk in newness of life.” — Romans 6:4, BLB.

Then, as you continue seeking a closer walk with Jesus, there is the opportunity to receive the promised baptism in the Holy Spirit of God, manifesting the variety of gifts He gives. This results in simple revelations while we read His Word and seek God’s presence in our daily lives, gaining understanding, and that closer walk, that nearness with Jesus actually in our lives.

The benefit feature of that baptism is to become useful in the assemblies of Believers. (Read 1 Corinthians 12 and 13.)

Easier said than done?

Perhaps receiving something as a gift isn’t as satisfying as getting it by your own efforts — by hook or by crook — an “ego trip” as we “Peaceniks” used to call it.

Good luck building your own house without any blueprint, knowhow, skill, materials, tools, land, or permits, etc. etc…

Good luck also in finding your way in the world without a map.

Look. I’d be happy to help if I could. I’ll watch, but from way over here so as not to get hurt by standing in your way.

As you search for answers to life’s questions and try to build upon God’s answers. I’ll try to point out any dangers and any positive steps one can take by continuing to write more essays.

The Good News

When you start to call on God, there will be tangible results. No matter how subtle. You need to keep alert to respond and to continue on the path. In other words a person has to get serious and persevere. Each step, if you are stepping on the right stones, will result in tangible progress… Maybe it’s like coming out of a dangerous storm or walking in the deep woods when the winds die down, the rain and cold stops, and the path gets brighter and brighter.

Walking the walk with God provides real results — nothing like the pipedreams of pot or the titillations of LSD, material wealth, and , more commonly, the futile quest for happiness from anything and everything provided in the material world.

I experienced from early childhood through my adult life, temporary and temporal thrills like opening presents on special occasions, birthdays, Christmas ,and such, but I would guess that discovering God’s gift of a new life in Jesus is far better and more rewarding than anything you have ever experienced.

My point is that real changes in real lives are the gift God has provided, the Good News of Jesus who has sacrificed Himself on an ancient Roman Cross on our behalf, providing the way out of darkness into the light…

All a person has to do is reach out for God, because He’ll be reaching out for you.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” — John 3:16–17

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D L Henderson
D L Henderson

Written by D L Henderson

Born 1950; HS 1968; Born again 1972; Cornell ILR; Steward, Local President/Business Agent; Husband, father, grandfather; winner/loser/everything in between

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