Wow. Your experience is definitely not the same as mine! Not being in your shoes I cannot respond with any certainty, but it has made you express your feelings in a very vituperative way and come across as very judgmental. Could it be your misinterpretation of Christians maybe? Or what they are trying to say? I recommend listening to the late Charles Stanley or checking out the currently living Brooklyn Tabernacle website for a correct view. The daily devotionals are less than 10 minutes long.