You seem to be at leaning towards the religions of atheism and/or agnosticism. As I view your beliefs, they are based on misinformation an misunderstandings. So, I h/ave little hope of your accepting anything I have to say about God, Jesus, or the Bible. Neveretheless...

Briefly, my wife and I had upbringigs very loosely related to Roman Catholicism and Prebyterianism (respectively). We both agree that theose denominations did not do a thng for us - neither personally, nor transcendental, neither practicably, nor conceptually.

However, years later (a lot of years for me), we were introduced to a realty we could not explain existentially.

Long story short, through different grous of peers, we were intorduced to salvation in Jesus. That changed our lives and we came into a whole different world.

Finally and again, Professor Lennox has the same salvation and maybe has a stronger intellectua presentation you might find interesting. Patty and I also have our more complete testimonies in an essay titled, "Why We Believe." medium.com/why-we-believe-970cc971e986

Hasta luego!